2009/01/08

Totally f*cked up



It's official: This day is fucked up. I ate two of those Pretzels today. Each 200 cals. Additionally I already had an apple with cottage cheese. And it's not even five in the afternoon. At least no sweets - yet. And no binge on bread - yet. I hope I can resist and won't give in to it later since "everything's fucked up anyway already".

I am such a failure. But I had these very strong cravings for carbs and just couldn't resist. I am so out of will power, it almost scares me. I can always be a good for one or two days, then I screw it up. Why do I always lose my strength? It wasn't always like this. Every damn therapy I was forced to made me weaker and weaker.

600 cals today. That's way too much. And I know that I'll eat something in the evening again. Another 200 cals. Ok, I am going to the gym for two hours, running and biking. But that'll make about 650 cals off. So there's still 150 cals of pure not worked off intake!!!

I am such a fat ass. A weak fat ass.

2 comments:

nadja said...

but 600/day is nothing, no wonder you crave carbs! xxx

Anonymous said...

i wish you would relaize that you're not fat.