Two weeks passed. No answer still. So I dropped her a short note. Said again how sorry I am, apologized, said that I just wasn't me during that time, that I understand that she's mad at me now, that she must think I do not cherish and love her, but that this is wrong. I do love her, miss her. That I never meant to hurt her.

Told her that I don't want to force her or push her in any way and that I'll never bother her again. Thanked her for all she has done for me, for being the only real life friend who ever understood ... and said goodbye.

I am drowning in tears. I am fucked up.

This is the end of everything.


WendyPadro said...

Oh Leni,

My heart breaks as I read this. I'm so sorry that this is happening, and am praying that she just hasn't checked her msgs. (((HUGS))) I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now, but stay strong please. Good things will come! xoxo

Jenna said...

Leni, I'm so sorry. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Stay strong.

simonnelaura said...

People like you shouldn't feel this way.
It's a cliche, but things have a habit of working themselves out.
You're such a strong girl, and soon you'll see that.

Willow Rain Jade said...

I just want to say, I know exactly how you feel. I had been ana for like two years and i had gotten down to 33.5 kg
but then my family made me stop and now i have been trying to be ana again but it is hard because i keep getting so conflicted
your blog has been helping me though
:) thank you so much :)