Today my boss is celebrating his birthday and inviting everybody for lunch. He ordered a million sandwiches and there will be an hour of partying with all colleagues. A challenge I am scared of and which I don't know how to pass yet. Probably I'll take my lunchbreak before and pretend to have eaten already. So I can avoid the bread, which is, as we all know, evil. But I won't be able to skip the toast. And I really don't want to drink a single drop of sparkling wine which has almost 100 cals per serving! As an alternative there will be orange juice which has about half the cals on the same size than the sparkling wine. But also these 50 cals will make my day's intake become awful.

Oh my god, I haven't been so scared of eating for a very long time now. I already freaked out this morning when I found out that we don't order low fat milk for the office any longer. My colleagues were completely irritated by my anger and I felt like I had revealed my food problem in front of everybody now.

I am confused and happy at the same time, though. It's the first obvious incident of getting back to ana after being an "out-of-control-fatass" for almost a year now. Will it be just a short interlude before the next binge or is it really - hopefully - serious?

Passed the challenge - successfully! Not even orange juice! And no one even noticed that I did not eat or drink anything. I'm happy and relieved. Looking at the munching mass of people and the disgusting high calorie sandwiches they ate (all white bread, mayonnaise, salami, salmon, butter, etc.) made me actually sick - not hungry myself. I am really getting better now.

1 comment:

myself? said...

Good luck for the party!