I did it again

Yesterday evening I once again, for the second time, willingly threw up after a "binge". I had a small bowl of cereals and half a bar of chocolate. And already while stuffing this stuff into my mouth my stomach started hurting so badly that I couldn't stand straight up. So I took my tooth brush and went to the toilet while my bf was sitting in the room next door listening to music via his headphones. It took me 20 minutes and several attempts, but finally I got everything out.

Weird: Afterwards I didn't felt half as guilty as after the first time I threw up. Quite the contrary. I felt powerful, strong and satisfied, although I looked like a monster when I went to the bathroom mirror straight afterwards. Red eyes, somehow "swollen" face...

I don't plan to throw up regularly now, but it appears to be a "good" solution after a binge. Nevertheless I try to avoid binges at all costs, but if it happens, I now know that I can make it "a little bit" undone...